You Won't Believe These 27 Hilariously Absurd Want Ads Are Real

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Only real go-getters need apply.

Everyone knows how crappy it is to be out of work and have to scour the classifieds or hit the streets to find something that you want to do, are able to do, and pays enough to ensure you won't be living ON those streets in a month. It can be pretty helpful when you're out there looking if businesses put a polite sign up in the window inviting you to apply, or even fast-food places who put it on their marquees. How very pleasant and profesh!

HOWEVER, not all businesses and individuals looking to hire help are professional about it at all. Sometimes these people have ridiculous expectations, or let you know in their want ads that they're unapologetically terrible people to work for. These are the people who say "no crybabies or people who look like Skeletor wanted" and demand you be a workaholic willing to never ever take a day off. Some ads make no sense, simply because the management lacks basic literacy skills. Other want ads are for seriously dubious work that only the truly desperate might apply for, like the one seeking someone to discreetly dig a six-foot hole in the yard "while his wife is out of town." (We've got his number. And so do the cops.)

Looking for a job yourself? Well, look no further, because we have all the crazy want ads you could hope to avoid like the plague. Stay away from these employers, but have a look at their ridiculous postings! Get Started